// when you’re ready to fly… //

…and the other birds are just partying in the nest.

~

summer beginning - 2015 012.JPG

{because springtime calls for pictures of the flowers on my trees}

~

If I could tell my freshman-self that I’m not attending my senior prom this year, not due to extenuating circumstances but simply because I don’t want to go, she’d probably be dismayed and rather confused.

I mean, it’s prom. Everyone goes to prom. It’s just a Thing You Do. You get to wear sparkly princess-y dresses (this was back when I liked overly sparkly things), hang out with your friends, look beautiful for once (I was a tad insecure), and check the experience off your ‘life to-do list’ and Emily are you okay? Have you lost your sense of fun? Or your mind, maybe?

But see, the thing I remember about my freshman-self is that she was a bit lost. Not lost in the sense of salvation– she knew Jesus and loved Him very much (still does)– but sort of drifting through life, having not really figured out who she is yet. This was before she discovered kindred spirits, people whose brains worked the same odd way hers did– before she was introduced to the beautiful thing known as Meyers-Briggs personality typing and discovered that she wasn’t crazy, just one of the rare, elusive INFJ’s.

This was before she really learned that sometimes, when you’re doing your own thing, you’ll be flying solo– and to be confident in that.

Because, dear heart, there will be times where you’ll want nothing more to fly, only your fellow birds are quite content to chill in the nest together (where it’s comfortable, where it’s safe), and you’re going to have to make a choice.

There will be times where the nest, while fun and exciting and friend-filled, just isn’t your cuppa tea (I’m mixing my metaphors, sorry, bear with me please)– and you know what? That’s totally okay. Because flying may not be their cuppa tea. You do you, little bird. You’ll be much happier that way.

I don’t ever want my reason for sticking with the nest to be “well, everyone else is there, and it’s just a Thing You Do”. We were given wings to fly– the ability to see the bigger picture of life– for a reason.

Is prom fun? I’m sure it is! Will I look back and regret not going? Nope, and I’m perfectly happy with that. I’m not going just because I’m socially expected to go– and by the way, isn’t it strange that, with our society that puts such a heavy emphasis on individuality, we’re still questioned and misunderstood when we actually do go against what’s considered fun by everyone else? And I’m not going because prom, while fun, has no real impact on my story, on the legacy I leave behind me. People aren’t going to care about the color of my dress or how I wore my hair or if I even showed up– I just want them to see the Jesus in me. I want to be light and love to my school.  The rest is just detail, and of those details, prom is a very miniscule part of that (and those who only remember that sort of thing after we graduate might want to rethink their priorities).

I’ve found that, the person that I am today? Prom just isn’t her cuppa tea. And senior-Em is totally at peace with that. She’s flying off to find her own teacups, her own brand of adventures and fun. And it’s going to be beautiful, because when she’s living in this world but not of it, being completely and confidently herself, that’s when her heart’s happy.

So, have a wonderful time at prom, everyone– or wherever you end up adventuring this weekend– and don’t mind me, I’m just over here spreading my wings while cheering you on. You do you, little birds. ❤

~

Stars call me closer
The earth is dragging me down
I want to be more than hungry
I want to live somewhere other than this old gray town

I want to fly away far beyond my cage
Where I hear freedom singing
You are telling me again there’s no door to keep me in
I hear freedom singing

Beauty all around me
Drawing me to the sky
This is life I can feel it
Bid my lonely days goodbye

[CHORUS]

Fly away home, fly away home, fly away home to You…

// Fly Away / JJ Heller //

{love always, Em}

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2 Replies to “// when you’re ready to fly… //”

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