// from the typewriter (app) //

we are

infinitely

finite.

we smother

conviction

with

complacency.

we scorn the

tolerant

with cries of

intolerance.

we live for

entertainment

while others

die for

what’s truly

worth

living for.

we think that

love is

words

and warm feelings

and giving up

your purity

when it’s really

actions

and courage

and hanging on

to purity yet

giving up

yourself.

we live in

the land of

the free

yet people

are mocked

for showing

a bit of

faith.

we live in

the home of

the brave

yet when

evil strikes

the world

we are

silent.

we long to

fill the void

in our hearts

yet when the

One who

created our

heartbeat

offers us

love

grace

belonging

we have the

audacity to

say we

don’t need

Him.

(we the people are a series of beautiful, horrible contradictions.)

-e.g.w.

// honesty. 4-15-15. //

I began writing this back in December (which feels like forever ago, by the way).

Let it gather dust for a few months.

Stumbled across it this afternoon, and was reminded of the burden I had felt to write it all those months ago.

So I finished it, and now I’m sharing it.

Yes, it’s another post on purity. Something that’s always been a huge heart-level conviction with me.

Because sometimes we all just need to stop and think about things like this…

~

// of white roses //

In a world

Of free-thinking and living in the moment

Purity is an aberration

A ridiculous notion

A thing your grandmother swears by

A fragment of old-fashioned values that no longer apply to “the real world”.

~

In a world

Where you can be with whomever

Whenever

Wherever

Just for the pleasure of it

Purity is unnecessary uptightness.

Why bother waiting when you can have fun right now?

(Hang the consequences— there’s condoms and abortions for that.)

~

In a world

Where “everybody’s doing it

There’s probably something wrong with purity.

I mean, you “need the experience”.

Right?

~

In a world

Where TV shows push the limits

And you can no longer watch movies with your young children

And there’s so many twisted ways of indirectly doing the deed

People ask, does it even matter?

What’s the point of trying to be pure when nobody else is?

~

In a world

Where we are all disillusioned

With the ideas of true love

And perfect gentlemen

There really seems to be no point to abstinence.

Mr. Darcy is nonexistent;

Your knight in shining armor isn’t coming.

Sorry to disappoint.

~

In a world

Where girls are never taught that

You are worth so much more than this, dear heart

And guys are never taught that

She is not an object for your pleasure but a beauty to be respected

Is it really a surprise that it’s so unpopular?

~

In a world

Where nearly everyone enjoys

Opening half-bud flowers

And ruining them before their time,

White roses, closed buds

Aren’t even valued.

Why bother to wait for the full-blown white rose when there’s easier pickings all around?

~

In a world

With that double-edged sword

Where “if you don’t do it you’re a prude

But if you do you’re a slut”

How can you possibly decide which label you’ll take on?

And how is that fair of them to demand of you?

~

In a world

Where God has been cast aside

As “less important than ______

Or even “not important at all

Where faith is a fable and morality is subjective

We really should have seen this coming.

~

In a world

Of shattered pieces of porcelain hearts

And ruined half-buds shriveled up in bitterness

And forgotten white roses blooming in the shadows

Something has to change or we’ll run headlong to our own destruction.

~

In a world

Where love is so twisted we don’t even know how to define it anymore

There is a Savior.

A truth.

A way out of this ravine we’ve dug for ourselves.

~

In a world

Where impulse leads to sin

Leads to brokenness

Leads to destruction

Could it be that the forgotten white roses hold the greatest treasure of all?

~

In a world

Where patience is a lost virtue

The roses in the shadows

Turn out to be the strongest,

Most beautiful,

Most sunshine-filled flowers of the garden.

~

In a world

Where white roses learn to stand tall and bloom

No matter what weather comes their way

Maybe, just maybe, we’ll return to viewing purity as a good thing.

~

In a world

Where love is defined as selflessness

As waiting

As sacrifice

As Christ

White roses will become much less rare

And together they can spark a change.

~

So go ahead and call us prudes.

Laugh at our naivety.

Roll your eyes at our lack of worldly experience.

Ignore us because our differentness makes you uncomfortable.

We will not be shaken.

~

Because we know that our security?

It’s not in a guy.

Not in what we can give a guy.

It’s in what Christ gave for us, for you.

The greatest display of love

This world has ever known

Was hanging on a rugged cross

Taking our place,

Our shame,

And turning our scarlet sins white as snow.

Pure white.

(Because even shattered hearts and withered half-buds can be made anew.)

~

And because of Him we know that true love does exist and

It’s more than worth the wait.

{e.g.w.}

// I don’t wanna live for me. //

You know those moments where you’re listening to a song, and you just think wow, that’s my heart? Right there, in these lyrics that fit your current life just perfectly? And you just know it’s all God, trying to wake you up and remind you of the truth, and you’ve got to take a minute to stop and breathe a prayer of thanks?

I have those moments pretty often, but I’d really love to share a recent one:

It was a school night a few weeks back, and it was borderline late but I wasn’t tired. Just restless, so restless. I’m sure you’ve felt it too– that unsettling distance from the Lord. It’s not that I turned away, necessarily– but I recklessly filled the space between us with business and tiredness and fictional-ness and general worldliness, instead of running to His open arms, and I knew I was doing it too because I know that empty feeling that comes from not enough Jesus daily. I’ve felt it many times, and a few weeks ago I found myself in that unwanted position again. It’s complacent, it’s convenient, it’s easier than diving into the Word and learning and growing “in spirit and in truth”– but it’s empty. It’s restless. And I look around at all the worldly things I’ve invested my life in and wonder what’s the point of any of it?

So there I was, in a rut, and impulse drove me to reach for my headphones and Spotify.

I scrolled through a melting pot of artists and albums, landing on Moriah Peters.

She’s always been a favorite, due to her lovely, upbeat, truthful lyrics on life as a Christ-follower, and I decided I needed some of that joy.

But I didn’t choose the song– and I’m so glad, because I wouldn’t have picked this one. It’s pretty obscure, and I’d never listened to it, and I had others on the album I loved– but oh, this one is the one that’s my imperfect, sinful heart pretty much all the time. When I sat on my bed and Spotify shuffled to it and I listened with wide eyes and a pounding heart, when I grabbed my journal and furiously scribbled the lyrics down with tears in my eyes and a huge smile on my face, and now, sitting here with a free evening and a heart that hungers for less of me and more of Jesus.

Who knows? Maybe this is your musical-divine-intervention. Maybe this is the song that God wants you to hear in this moment, in whatever you’re struggling through. Take a moment to stop, open your heart, and listen, truly listen. It’s a message we all need sometimes– make that all the time:

Another day come and gone
I do what I hate to do
A little right a little wrong, it’s true
Another choice another fall
I tell myself to stop
But on my own it’s a war and I’ve lost

Why do I say one thing
And then do the opposite
I don’t want to stay this way

Here and now
I surrender all my life
I take this vow
And abandon me tonight
No more going down and up
And down so selfishly
No more going up and down
And up You take the lead
I don’t want to live for me
I don’t want to live for me

Give me grace give me strength
I can’t do this alone
Show me when show me where to go
In the end I want to stand
By Your side no regrets
And give it all to love You
Like You love me

Here and now
I surrender all my life
I take this vow
And abandon me tonight
No more going down and up
And down so selfishly
No more going up and down
And up You take the lead
I don’t want to live for me
I don’t want to live for me

To want You like You want me
To know You like You know me
To love You like You love me

Here and now
I surrender all my life
I take this vow
And abandon me tonight

Here and now
I surrender all my life
I take this vow
And abandon me tonight
No more going down and up
And down so selfishly
No more going up and down
And up You take the lead
I don’t want to live for me
I don’t want to live for me

// Moriah Peters, “Don’t Want to Live For Me” //

{love always, Em}